Categories
For Parents Pregnant

父母分享:成为父母是如何让您变得更好的(或更糟的!)?

做父母是一个令人兴奋的人生转折点。

成为父母可以发现自己从未意识到的特质或技能,并且成为一个您从未想象过的完全不同的人。成为父母是让您变得更好还是更糟?让我们来看看新加坡妈妈们的转变和经历吧!

妈妈们,请明白你们的眼袋不是设计师品牌哦!

成为父母后最明显的变化就是妈妈的身体变化。皮肤在九个月内不断拉伸以适应婴儿的不断生长和腹部的不断增大,有些东西可能无法回到从前了。

Jingyi Gab是两个孩子的妈妈,她表示,看着镜子里的自己,她已接受了这些伤疤以及自从怀孕以来就已习惯的大肚子。她说这些都是她的荣誉徽章,这些身体伤疤表达了她无私的爱。

Lup Wai在家里给两个孩子教学,她勇敢地接受自己因为“照顾孩子的酸甜苦辣”所导致的“憔悴面容”,因为“孩子让生活变得更加丰富多彩、有趣生动且令人兴奋!”

失去耐心还是更有耐心?

父母稍不留神,孩子就可能会出现意想不到的情况。在和孩子打交道时,您会发现自己在咬牙切齿的同时还得努力保持冷静。当这种情况发生时,您是失去耐心、发脾气还是更有耐心?

妈妈们认为在生完孩子后,她们会进行自我发现和自我启示,只是为更好地了解自己。更有耐心或失去耐心都是隐藏的瑰宝!

对于两个孩子的妈妈Joanne而言,情况变的更糟了:“我发现我比自己想象地更没耐心且脾气更糟。现在,我努力变得更有耐心,更温柔地说话,并且更了解自己的“引爆点”。

Andrea Kang Gruszka同意Joanne的自我反省:“我一会要照顾Jekyll,一会又要照顾Hyde,现在我已经没那么容易发脾气了!”

妈妈们在发火之前会有意识地让自己冷静下来,控制自己的言语,他们也知道孩子就是自己的一面镜子。Yvonne Mardiana的女儿在上小学,她说,“我从孩子的反应才知道自己是多么的严苛和大声。”

在我们还没有宝宝的时候,看到其他孩子在公共场合发脾气,我们会很容易地评判他们的父母。Lai Xiuli现在是两个小孩的妈妈,她明白了有时候自己的情况比别人的更棘手。她把带小孩比喻成“步兵训练”,“因为孩子们训练我的体能、耐心,让我以更开放的心态看待事物。这都能让我变成更好的人,不是吗?当然,孩子们也会为我们的生活增添许多色彩和欢笑。”

 

所有妈妈都会说:“我希望能一觉到天亮”。

“Nerissa Lewis是位新晋妈妈,尽管睡眠不足,但她觉得成为母亲让她变成一个更好的人,更有爱心,以新的角度看问题,并且赋予生命新的意义。

她还说,“你会更清楚地认识到,世界上所发生的一切都是为孩子创造一个更好的环境。”

正如Andrea所说:“每天我都会有意识地选择爱,爱不是情感,而是选择。庆幸的是,耐心、奉献、宽容、乐观都是爱的副产品。”

 

做决定和管理时间

做出的决定通常都得符合孩子的最大利益,包括决定健康饮食、多吃蔬菜以及成为孩子的好榜样。Clarissa Chen是三个孩子的妈妈,她说自己会“更加注意食物选择” 。与丈夫的深夜晚餐和约会之夜也一去不复返了!Jessica说:“因为孩子们在吃饭的时候都会看着我,所以我再也无法挑食了。”

妈妈Serynn Guay坦率表示,“我现在更善于同时处理多项任务,并且对工作也更有耐心,因为没有什么工作(包括协调包括部长在内的1000人出席的活动)是比让宝宝吃蔬菜更难了。”突然觉得工作中没有不可逾越的高峰!不论您的宝宝多大,都能提高妈妈的时间管理技能,不是吗?

Evangeline Yang是两个孩子的妈妈,她表示成为母亲后自己变得更有耐心、爱心和创造力。

 

充分发挥创造力

如果家政课是您读书时的薄弱项,那么做父母后,您可能会不顾厨房里的油烟来给孩子做饭。此外,您可能还学会了识别营养标签,研究各种超级食品,甚至还经常给孩子准备既创意又美味的午餐盒饭

对此,Yvonne也同意,成为父母后提高了自己的烹饪、艺术和想象力方面的创造力,而在她生宝宝之前是不具备这些特点的。

Jessica Kong表示自己的创造力提高了,并且常常会得到出其不意的应用。

她说:“当被孩子问到他们的安抚奶嘴、电视遥控器、出奇蛋等物品的位置时,我能淡定地给孩子讲些善意的谎言。”

 

您的幸福、您的快乐、您的小可爱!

 

爱是

Yvonne 说:“爱意满满地看着孩子,悉心照料他们,为孩子不惜一切,这让我明白我的父母是如何照顾我的。要感激与伴侣、孩子和父母一起度过的时光。”养育一个孩子需要一个村子的力量,就像我们的父母曾付出的那样。

长日漫漫,岁月如梭。初为人母的Melissa Goh真诚地表示非常喜欢自己的积极变化。

她说:“我们在照顾宝宝的时候所拥有的就是一种无私奉献的感觉。”

爸爸妈妈们不断努力成为更好的自己和更好的父母。我们在养育全球宝宝时发的脾气和欢笑都是我们对孩子的爱与日俱增的表现。

 

您在成为父母后是变得更好还是更糟?也与我们分享您的想法吧!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Categories
For Parents Pregnant

Parents Share: How has becoming a parent change you for the better (or worse!)?

Parenting is an exciting life-transforming chapter.

It can unearth character traits or skills you never knew existed, and turn you into a new person you never imagined possible. Has becoming a parent changed you for the better, or for the worse? Let’s hear it from these mums in Singapore who share their earnest transformations and experiences!

Pretty sure those bags under your eyes aren’t designer brands, mums!

The most obvious change after becoming a parent would be physical ones for mothers. After nine months of skin stretching to accommodate a growing baby and belly, some things may not revert to what they were before.

Mum of two toddlers, Jingyi Gab says looking at herself in the mirror and accepting those scars and stretched tummy are some changes that took some getting used to since pregnancy. This mama acknowledges that they are her badge of honour and feels that these physical scars portray the truth about unconditional love.

For Lup Wai who home-schools both her kids, she gamely accepts that the “haggard look” comes with being a mum who has witnessed the “ups and downs of looking after kids “, as “having children makes life even more colourful, interesting and exciting!”

Patience and temper – lost or found?

With children, situations may take unexpected turns which catch parents unawares. You may find yourself breathing through gritted teeth and struggle to remain calm when dealing with the kids. When that happens, patience run thin and tempers are lost, or found?

Mums agree that after having kids, they undergo self-discovery and revelation…only to learn more about themselves. Patience, or the lack of, is an understated hidden gem!

The worse bit for Joanne, mum of 2, is “discovering I have less patience and worse temper than I thought I did. Now, I (try) to be more patient, choose kinder words and generally being more aware of my “triggers!”

Andrea Kang Gruszka seconds Joanne’s revelation: “I go from Jekyll to Hyde in a matter of seconds – it takes VERY little to antagonise me now!”

While it takes a conscious effort to hold their tongues and minds before firing away, mums also realise that their children are mirrors of their teachings. For Yvonne Mardiana whose girls are in primary school, she admits that she “became more aware of how mean and how loud I can be from my children’s reminders.”

Days before children came into the picture, it might have been easy to judge other parents when their kids throw tantrums in public. After becoming a mum, Lai Xiuli who has two young children understands that some situations are trickier than others. She compares them to “infantry training” (as the kids) train my energy level, my patience and train me to see things with an open-mind. Guess that changes me to be a better person? Children definitely add lots of colours and laughter into our lives.

 

“I wish I could sleep through the night”, said all mothers.

”For new mum, Nerissa Lewis, despite the sleep deprivation, she feels that becoming a mother has made a better loving person with the new perspective and meaning in life.

“You become more aware of what’s going on in the world just because you want “it” to be a better place for your children,” she adds.

As Andrea rounds it up, “Everyday I’m pushed to consciously choose love – love is not an emotion, it is a choice. Patience, self-giving, tolerance, optimism are thankfully by-products of having chosen to love.”

 

Making decisions and managing time

Naturally, decisions made are usually in the best interest of your children. That includes deciding to eat healthily, go for more vegetables and be the right role models in front of your kids. Mum of 3, Clarissa Chen shares that she has since become “more aware on food choices”. Late night suppers and date nights with the husband is also a thing of the past as part of their marriage! Turning into a picky eater no more because “the kids are watching me at meal times”, says Jessica.

Candidly revealed by mum of a toddler, Serynn Guay, “I’ve (become) better at multi-tasking and generally more tolerant of work, because nothing, NOTHING (including coordinating a 1000 pax event involving Ministers) at work is more challenging than getting a toddler to eat vegetables.” Suddenly, no mountain is too high to climb at work! Much have been said about time management skills being sharpened too, regardless of the size of your brood, right?

As Evangeline Yang, mother of 2, shares about motherhood, she has become more patient, more loving and more creative.

 

Taking creativity skills on a spin

If Home Economics was your Achilles heel back in school, fast forward to parenthood, you would have probably braved the kitchen fire for your kids. Well, you might have also learned to read nutrition labels, researched tons about superfoods or even put together creative and delicious lunchboxes for your kids on a regular basis!

To that, Yvonne agrees that becoming a parent “improves my creativity in cooking, arts and imagination”, skills which might not been used to describe her prior to starting a family.

Creativity skills are also sharpened and used in unexpected ways as Jessica Kong shares.

“I gained the ability to tell smooth white lies without flinching when asked about the whereabouts of their pacifier, tv remote, kinder surprise egg…,” she reveals.

 

Your blessing, joy and cutie pie!

 

 Love is…

“Looking at my children with love, taking care of them takes so much effort and knowing you would do anything for them opened up my eyes to how my parents took care of me,” confesses Yvonne. “Be appreciative of the time spent with your spouse, your children and your own parents.” It takes a village to raise a family, just as it has been for our parents themselves.

After all the days are long, and the years are short. First time mum, Melissa Goh agrees wholeheartedly that she enjoys the positive changes in herself.
“The feeling that we give selflessly really applies here,” she shares.

At the end of the day, parents continuously strive to become better individuals and better parents. All in a bid towards loving our children more with each day, as we nurture and raise world-ready children with each tantrum, spice and everything in between!

 

Do you think you have changed for the better or worse after becoming a dad or mum? Share with us your thoughts too!

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *