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For Parents Toddlers

父母分享:助力全球儿童健康成长的建议

我们如何养育孩子才能使他们成为未来世界的接班人?

育儿是一段终生旅途。我们不仅尽力为孩子提供最好的一切,也要为他们的未来做好准备。

除了给孩子提供安全和有爱的环境,我们还要努力满足孩子的需求并支持孩子的全面发展。家庭价值观也是也是个人品质的重要部分,父母探索将良好的价值观灌输给孩子的方法,为世界培养负责任的公民。

让我们来看看新加坡家庭重视的价值观,以及父母是如何将良好的价值观灌输给孩子!

家庭价值观有助于为共同信念奠定基础,这些信念会影响孩子的性格和态度。

#1: 价值观是我们日常生活的一部分

在学校里,会开设公民和公共道德教育(CME)课程,我们通过故事和范例来学习道德价值观。在家里,父母意识到在早期向孩子灌输正面价值观的重要性,因为这是形成孩子个人品质的基础,继而转化为他们与周围人的互动方式。

 

Evangeline Yang是两个孩子的母亲,她的信念是孩子应该成为“言行一致的人”。孩子们通过周围人的言语、行为和行动来获取这些价值观。父母以身作则是让孩子理解和懂得正面价值观的有效方法。

在幼儿时期,孩子在与他人的互动中也可能会学习“错误”的观念和想法,而他们无法辨别这些观念和想法。Dominique Goh是三个孩子的母亲,她表示,“……不要容忍那些没有道德标准的成人或孩子。”

 

#2: 学会知足、感恩生活和他人

人们常说,年轻一代因为“以自我为中心”的心态而有一种强烈的“自我权利”意识。

我的儿子只有两岁半,正处于以自我为中心的阶段。但是,我们正努力教孩子与他人分享,不能霸占物品。我们在照顾孩子的时候,也要学会停下来欣赏毛毛虫或金翅雀,因为我们需要感受生活中的小事物。

— Serynn Guay

您是否会去欣赏我们周围这些常常被认为习以为常小事物?

 

对此专家分析,幼儿正处于以自我为中心的阶段,这是他们社交和情感发展的正常部分。在这个时期,父母可以鼓励孩子自主,让幼儿有自我控制感。

在欲望和需求的日常追求中,我们可能会忘记欣赏已经拥有的东西,并且忽略日益累积的幸福感。不要一直追求“更好的生活” 或 “更多的东西”,不要总是觉得“邻家芳草绿,隔岸风景好”,学会知足才是不断前行的动力。

Andrea Kang Gruszka是两个两岁以下的宝宝的母亲,她感叹道:“我只祈祷和希望我的孩子们不要浪费时间和别人比较,并一直都期望能如此…我觉得我得以身作则。”

欣赏简单的事物,并对我们已拥有的东西感到满足,让我们的孩子学会感恩和知足。

 

#3: 努力才会有结果

Janice Wong以她的两个孩子(一个五岁,一个两岁)为例,她表示,孩子们会注意到她在工作,进行家庭教育和养育子女,她认为自己的行为能让孩子们明白努力工作的重要性。她希望向孩子们灌输“天下没有免费的午餐…不要把任何事情当作理所当然的道理。不但要苦干,还要巧干。”

像Andrea和Serynn一样,Janice也坚信有必要去除孩子的“自我权利”意识。正确的做事态度也会影响成效和结果。在这个过程中,Janice希望她的孩子能有正确的行为举止。

我们的行为举止非常重要,因为这会影响我们对待他人的方式。

 

#4: 以爱为出发点,促进深入发展

言行一致非常重要。Jessica Kong认为,孩子也需要受到尊重。

“我们认为,当孩子感到被尊重并且看到我们尊重他人时,孩子也会形成相同的价值观。”

— Jessica Kong

此外,儿童观察敏锐,通过榜样学习同情和善良等价值观。作为父母,我们的言行举止比我们想象的更能影响孩子

她还表示,“当孩子受到伤害或因为犯错而受到惩罚时,我们会给予孩子充分的关心。但是当我六岁的儿子摔倒时,我不是让他不要哭,做个“大男孩”,而是提供建议,帮助孩子分散对疼痛的注意力。当孩子因为不良行为受到惩罚时,我们会在事后理解他的感受,找出犯错的原因。我们会不断拥抱和提醒他,我们是爱他的,但这种行为是不可接受的。当他的妹妹受到惩罚时,他也会用相同的方式来对待。他会像我们对待他的方式一样,对妹妹表示同情和关心。”

 

孩子通过社交互动和观察来学习,这有助于孩子形成对正面价值观的理解。

 

#5: 教孩子正确的价值观,无需完全严肃苛刻

有些父母会非常严肃,教导孩子正面的价值观似乎是一项艰巨的任务,而有些父母则通过轻松的方式来教导。

Liang May是两个孩子的母亲,她说:“我老公想要教孩子‘以他人为先’,让孩子能有善良的美德,所以他以身作则。但他很快又对孩子说‘你老爸是最无私的人!为什么你这么自私!”

显然,幽默感也是孩子在准备应对生活挑战时的重要品质。

“我们在工作、生活和娱乐中践行这些价值观来教导孩子,与我们的育儿方法一致也是很重要的。例如,如果我告诉儿子不要花太多时间在手机上,我自己也应该这样做。”

— Walter Lim的儿子正值青春期,这是他总结的用正确的价值观培养孩子

这确实是来自其他父母明智的建议。育儿对孩子和成人都是个学习的过程。在谈到助力全球儿童健康成长时,正确的价值观有助于培养个人的品质和态度,让他们更好地迎接未来。

 

您希望灌输孩子哪些价值观?也与我们分享吧!

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Categories
For Parents Toddlers

Parents Share: Tips on Raising World-ready Children

How can we raise our children to be ready for the world of tomorrow?

Parenting is a lifelong journey, and as we strive to offer our best to our children, we also wish to prepare them for their future.

Besides a safe and loving environment, we work hard at meeting their needs and support their holistic development. Family values are also integral aspects of one’s character, and parents explore ways to impart good values to nurture responsible citizens of the world.

Let’s find out what values are important to families in Singapore, and how do parents teach their children these great values!

Family values help set the foundation of a shared set of beliefs which influences their character and attitude.

#1: Values are part of our daily lives

In school where Civics and Moral Education (CME) was part of the curriculum, we learned about moral values through stories and examples. At home, parents appreciate the importance of imparting positive values at an early age, as they set the foundation of one’s character which translates into how they interact with others around them.

To that, Evangeline Yang, mother of two, shares her beliefs that her kids should be “man or woman of what they say”. Through speech, behaviour and actions, children pick up these values through those around them. Leading by example is an effective way of getting their children to understand and appreciate the importance of positive values.

Through interaction with others, children may also pick up the “wrong” concepts and ideas which they may not be able to differentiate during their toddler years. As Dominique Goh, mother of three notes, “… don’t put up with those adults or kids who refuse to exhibit such moral standards.”

 

#2: Learn to be contented, appreciate life and others

Much has been said that the younger generation seem to have a huge sense of self-entitlement, stemming from their ‘me-centric’ mindset.

My boy is only two-and-a-half years old so he’s at the very self-centred stage. But, we are trying to teach him to share with others, and take turns. We also always stop to admire caterpillars or a yellow bird on our way to childcare, because we need to appreciate all these little things!
— Serynn Guay

Did you remember to appreciate the little things around us that are often taken for granted?

 

To that, experts analyse that toddlers are at the phase where they are self-centred, and it is a normal part of their social and emotional development. During this period, parents can encourage autonomy, and allow toddler to have the feeling of self-control.

In the daily pursuit of wants and needs, we might forget to appreciate what we have, and lose sight about the amount of happiness accumulated. No thanks to the chase of ‘a better life’, or, ‘more things’, where it is always about the grass being greener on the other side, contentment becomes a moving goalpost.
As Andrea Kang Gruszka, mother of two under two-year-old, laments. “I just pray and hope that my kids do not spend their days comparing and always wishing and hoping… I guess I’ll just have to start with myself.”

Appreciate the simple things and being happy with what we already have allow our children to embrace the value of gratefulness and learn to be contented too.

 

#3: Effort and results are related

Citing examples of her five-year-old and two-year old, Janice Wong shares that as her kids watch her juggle work, home-schooling and parenting, she believes her actions speak for itself in allow her kids to understand that hard work is important. She hopes to instill in them that “nothing free falls down from the sky… don’t take anything for granted. Work hard but smart too.”
Like Andrea and Serynn, Janice is also a firm believer about having her kids dispel any sense of entitlement. The right working attitude has an impact on effort and results too. During the process, having the right manners is a behaviour Janice hopes her young children adopt.

Our P’s and Q’s are integral as they are an extension of how we treat others too.

 

#4: The value of love springboards to greater depth

Walking the talk is important and for Jessica Kong, she feels that children need to be respected too.

“We believe that when children feel respected and see us respecting others, they take on the same values too,”
— Jessica Kong

Furthermore, children are keen observers who learn values such as empathy and kindness through role model. As parents, what we do and say influences our children more than we might think.

She adds, “We show adequate care for them when they are hurt or when they get punished for a wrong doing. However, instead of asking my six-year-old son not to cry and be a ‘big boy’ when he falls, we offer suggestions to help distract him about the pain. When he gets punished for a bad behaviour, we will acknowledge his feelings after the incident and find out his reasons for his behaviour. We will always hug and remind him that he is loved but the behaviour is unacceptable, and soon realised that he adopts the same method when his sister gets punished. He would empathise and saying (care for her) her the same way we did to him.”

 

Children learn through social interaction and observation, which help form their understanding of positive values.

 

#5: Teaching children the right values need not be 100% serious work

In all seriousness, raising children with positive values may seem like a tall order, some parents find ways to do it through light-hearted manners.
Mother of two, Liang May, says of her husband “who wants to teach his children ‘others before self’ with the underlying virtue of kindness. He does so by example but is also quick to add that ‘your father is the most selfless guy! Why (are) you so selfish!’ when he speaks to our children!”

Clearly a sense of humour is a trait our kids could do with as they get ready to tackle life’s challenges.

“We do this by demonstrating it in the way we work, live and play. Being consistent in our parenting approach is also important. For example, if I tell my son not to spend too much time on his smartphone, I should do the same too.”
— Father of a teenage son, Walter Lim, sums up our effort in nurturing children with the right values

Wise words of advice indeed from fellow parents. After all parenting is a learning journey for both children and adults. When it comes to raising world-ready children, growing up with the right values help develop a person’s character and attitude, as they prepare to step into their future.

 

What are some values you hope to instil in your children? Do share with us too!

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